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I can’t count anymore the times that I have lived the so called “mansplaining”. The last time was in a pub in Tokyo. I found myself in front of a little English man who contradicted or misinterpreted everything I said as if it was a ping pong game. “Give me a break” I shout at him and the air turn awkward. Even in the XXI century men can’t cope with our natural reaction to injustice.

 

I was quite drunk to be honest, the little man didn’t matter anymore, I won’t change his neanderthal perspective, I thought. However, in the middle of the semi unconsciousness experienced by the alcohol in my veins I saw myself in an ocean of men. I wonder if that is how Marie Curie or all these female idols felt always. Trying to take a mouthful of air in this ocean of men. I was there, in the center of Tokyo, in a pub surrounded by men.

 

I didn’t notice it when or how did they come. Like bulls in a heard, “When did you arrive?” I shout inside of me. I turned my head, the place was flooded by big, chubby men with suits and ties. They were no Japanese, all of them came from different parts of the world, tourist in the land of their future clients or partners. I walked out, weary by the strong smell and the loud voices and the masculine performance. Thanks to the universe I was with my male friend otherwise I would have been bait for the night. Yes, yes dear reader there are good man, but most will try to go for a one-night stand.

 

In that joyful and party street, group of young men were seeing all over. Future stock market genius, engineers or whatever the country need for make their GDP bigger, however there were barely women. I saw maybe two. The percentage of female population in Japan is 51.18% compare to 48.82% male population. Why there were just male in suits outside having fun? Many will say it is a superficial observation, but I start to assume. Are they at home? Are they housewifes? Maybe they prefer a Netflix night instead of beers in the pubs?

 

As a woman I have been nagged several times by men telling me my observations are stupid or asking me to be more precise, rational or simply if I do not say what they think, is incorrect. I am not good with numbers or statistics, no wonder why. We grow up with the same stereotypes of girls been soft, artistic, nurture and givers; we are never adventurous, political or just rough. Then later in life when we are not rational, political or strong we are heavily condemn as weak women. It looks like we need to use our violence to survive, to seem though because nobody will respect our softness or tenderness. We need to pretend, to learn to set boundaries with men. But why can’t man just get softer, get nicer.

 

In an article that I read recently, during the 80’s and 90’s men and women were more equal in terms of hypersexualization. These two genius women created a scale and analyzed 40 decades of the cover of the Rolling Stones. Gave a scored to each pose, mouth position, intention of the mouth position and so on. One of the conclusions was what I mention before, Men and women were equally hypersexualized! Finally. However, it wasn’t because women were less sexualized, the opposite. A weird case in history where equality is achieved by men losing freedom and being objectivize.

 

It would be ideal if the same case could happen. Maybe as Lennon said, I am a dreamer. Dear world, dear men: can you please soften up?